Roses & Butterflies

i went to read blogs today. i haven't done that for quite some time. AND it has given me the inspiration to blog something now upon typing all of this, i realise i have nothing exciting to say. tskkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

anyway, it was erin's birthday on 16th sep so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAVER!

it was my mum's birthday on 17th sep so HAPPY BIRTHDAT MUMMY!

and last but not least, oreal's birthday yesterday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY OREALLY!

i love you guys from the bottom of my heart! 

alright, im done with birthday wishes. moving on to.... MY LIFE (how interesting :/) hahaha.
as most of you might already know, i lost my ipod. as much as im really really incredibly upset and disappointed with myself, i've moved on and decided to worry about what is more important right now, my promos.

thankfully my brother willingly lent me his ipod(without a earpiece. i had to add that because he complained that i take that all his things.haha). i dont know how long i can go on without telling my mum that i lost my ipod but i think i will leave that till after exams. haha. or i might not even tell her at all and let her find out herself ( we all know how that is going to go).
my promos are in 2 weeks people. o0o0o0o0o0o so scaryyyy. my aim is not to do very well but only well enough to get me promoted. that is all i want. i suppose if i work enough, i can get there. that is IF i work hard enough. im trying.. im trying.. stop pressuring me!

im alone at home now. really really lonely but i like it. the weather is awesome. i predict that today will be a good day. my mum is away, my brother and grandparents are out. NICE. i can study in peace at home for the next 2+ hours. and after that, i will be heading down to oreal's house for dinnerrrrrrrr. something to look forward to. (:

shit, i just remembered. i have lit homework. arghhhhh. Worse! its poem analysis. !@#$%^&**

okay, i will leave that worry aside for 10 mins while i say this.
i was at SMU a few days ago with my mum because we were going for mass at Cathedral so since we were early, decided to go to the toilet at SMU which is opposite the church. while i was waiting for my mum in the toilet, i will looking at myself in the mirror and thought to myself, oh my, in about 2 years time, i might be here again, as a SMU student or maybe NUS la whatever. so, my point is.. time flies. it flies so fast. once you're done with secondary school, time flies even faster than it did before. seriously. its faster than the speed of light. the feeling is overwhelming. i need to catch my breath man. 

but let me get done with promos first. thats my first step to uni. haha. 
good day! 
 

bored

new experiences

comfort

selfishness

shallow mistakes

awaken

disappointment

responsibility

priorities

memories



Blessed. 


i never thought that i would be so careless to allow something like that to happen. 
it was a huge mistake on my part and i've never felt shitier than this. 

i called my brother last night sobbing and he came home to talk to me. 
when he spoke, he reminded me so much of my dad. i saw the side of him that made me see why my parents actually trust him more than they trust me despite me being the so called 'better' child. 

he taught me to me strong-willed. he told me that once i make a choice, i must never regret because the effect of that regret will bear the greatest burden on me. and honestly, it did bring me down so many times but i never realised why until last night. 

so many things were on my mind and i knew i needed to sort them out before it carries on. a part of me wanted to carry on that mistake because it was something different and i liked it. i liked that feeling. i knew it was so wrong but i was more carried away enjoying all of that to the extent that i was very willing to put aside reality for that moment. 

having that talk with my brother made me realise the importance of prioritising. he has experienced much more than i ever have. what i went through may have been my first time but it will not be my last. it was a painful experience but it would not be the least painful one. he got me thinking, reallll hard. 

and yupp. i had a really good sleep last night although it was a pretty short one cos i woke up really early today because my teeth was hurting really bad (i went for tightening ytd). i knew what i had to do and what i was going to do. (: